In August 2006, having just arrived in Switzerland, we were in the process of getting to know the long list of social rules in Switzerland. One of these many rules is about waste management - i.e. what kind of garbage bags you should use, where to send your empty bottles for recycle, how to separate them into different types, when they collect used papers, what you need to do with compost and the list continues.
On one Thursday evening I received a visit from an old man with a bag of garbage. He goes "Is this your garbage?". "Possibly so. I will have to check the content. But, it doesn't matter. Give it to me.", I said, thinking that even if it was not mine, I could just throw it back afterwards. "OK. But you've used the wrong bag. This black bag is cheap. You must use the blue one which is more expensive. Get them from Migro or Coop. Also, you've thrown this garbage in the bin that belongs to the apartment next door. Yours is at the other end of this building.", he continued. "Sure. I will go and get myself the blue bags. Thanks for the info.", I said. After he left, I opened the bag, and it was in fact my garbage. Initially I wondered how the hell that he knew it. Then I realised he had searched the garbage and found envelopes with my name. So damn Swiss!
The next day, Friday, I went to look for the blue garbage bag the man had told me about from the local supermarkets; Coop and Migro. I could not find it, and no one who worked there knew about it. This is not right I thought. A colleague later in the day told me it is only available at the Coop and Migro in the area I live which is ONLY about 8 minutes away by bus! This is madness. So, off I went and they indeed sold the bags there, and they are f*cking expensive! Each bag costs 2 Swiss Francs.
Having got the right garbage bag and used it, I thought that was the end of the story. Not!! Not with the Swiss. I don't know if they think they are smarter that the rest of the world, have bigger dick and tighter pussy or just pure racism. On Monday, I received a call from my wife informing me that I had received a written notice from the police, possibly a summon, and it had something to do with waste management. What else are they not happy with??? Straight away I went home and took the notice. With the help my department secretary, I learned that someone had reported about the mistake I made, and now the police wanted me to go down to the station for some kind of stupid briefing session related to ... how I should handle my waste I guess. She called the police station and had a chat with the responsible officer for about 15 minutes and in the end, they agreed I didn't have to be present at the station, however, should it happen again, I would be blacklisted and fined 200 Swiss Francs. And what pissed me off the most was that I had been reported to have been using the wrong garbage bag many times. That is total bollocks! When that old garbage inspector or whatever his job was, came to my home, it was only the second time I had used the black bag, and pure unintentional. Now that we understood where we went wrong and corrected the mistake, what else were they not happy with. I just don't understand. I will never do.
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